i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
