I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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