I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
