gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
