They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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