Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
