The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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