we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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