Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
