yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
