your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
