her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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