we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
