i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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