He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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