This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize