what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
