i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
