I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
