Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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