I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
