I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
