the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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