she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
the raccoons are back...
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