I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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