You're my little dorito
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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