I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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