I hope mine doesn't look like that
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
