You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
