real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
