you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
