She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
