remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize