It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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