I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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