The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
