are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize