I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
