told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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