By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize