its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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