And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
