did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Im part way to drunk.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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