But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize