i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
