should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
