plz talk dirty to me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
