I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
