fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
