Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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