Whod you bang
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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