it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
