Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize