I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
