He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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