I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How external is "for external use only"?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
