it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the day after is always just damage control
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
