I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
