Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize