i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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